I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
