So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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