I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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