am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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