If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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