Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm passing your future prison.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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