You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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