The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
