my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
