Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
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