4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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