at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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