I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
