Sry I called you an 8
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
