yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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