i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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