It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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