I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
