We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
