Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
