The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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