Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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