thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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