I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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