apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You were trust falling into bushes
You ate ashes out of my bong
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
