It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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