why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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