so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
