i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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