Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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