Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
