the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
