exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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