she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Holy shit dude........stairs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
