whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wish you could order shots online.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
