I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
