that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
