I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Randomize
