I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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