someone owes me an orgasm
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
