Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Two words: blizzard sex
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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