I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
