break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she was so not down for the gang bang
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
