what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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