The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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