I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
