8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
