I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
