My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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