I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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