Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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