i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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