Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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