how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
