So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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