so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
