I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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