I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
