I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
